Ghana Satire: The Things We Hate But Still Do
Parody Dispatch from the Ministry of Everyday Nonsense
Category: Parody – Republic of Uncommon Sense
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This Ghana satire takes place in the bustling town of Sikaman — a place so ordinary it could pass for every Ghanaian community — where lived one man called Kwadwo “Mr. Principle” Mensah.
He believed he was the nation’s moral compass. A man who hated disorder, detested lateness, condemned corruption, and swore Ghana must change. But as our elders say, “The one who condemns palm wine still wipes his mouth when nobody is watching.”
Article 1: The ECG Chronicles
One Monday at dawn, Mr. Principle woke up already annoyed at a country he loved more than banku with extra wele. The lights had gone again — naturally — so he marched to the meter box like a prophet confronting Baal, ready to curse the darkness in fluent Twi and broken English.
“Ei Ghana! We can’t continue like this!” he shouted.
But when the light returned with a shy blink, he hissed… then immediately plugged in his phone, laptop, iron and blender — all at once — like a man welcoming a prodigal child with a feast.
This is Ghana satire in real life: we condemn the system fiercely, yet overload it the moment it works.
Article 2: The Trotro Mate of the Missing Change
Later that morning, he boarded a trotro where he met the legendary Trotro Mate of the Missing Change — a young man who can calculate 3 cedis from 20 passengers but somehow cannot produce your 2 cedis.
“Mate, my change!” Kwadwo barked.
“Oh boss, e go come,” the mate replied, vanishing behind the trotro and shouting “Kejetia, Kejetia!” like a town crier announcing the second coming.
Kwadwo launched into a lecture about how petty cheating destroys the nation. The entire trotro nodded along like obedient congregation members.
Then the mate mistakenly returned with extra 1 cedi. Mr. Principle pocketed it quietly — the same way one receives communion: silently, humbly, and without argument.
After all, “When a chicken finds corn, it does not announce to the hawk.”
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Article 3: The Queue at the Ministry of National Suffering
At the government office, he found a queue so crooked it looked like it was drawn by a child who drank melted toffee.
He sighed. “This country and disorder! Why can’t we be civilized for once?”
Suddenly a friend whispered, “Bra Kwadwo, I dey inside.”
Before he could resist for decorum’s sake, the friend pulled him to the front.
Behind him, citizens erupted: “Ah! Respect yourself!”
Mr. Principle responded with the official Ghanaian apology smile — the one that means “You will understand… one day.”
Because as the elders say, “When the snake is in your pocket, you don’t beat the bush.”
Article 4: The Market Bargaining Olympics
“Tomatoes, how much?”
“40 cedis.”
“Madam, are you selling tomatoes or MTN shares?”
She folded her arms. “Boss, if you can buy, buy. If you can’t, move small.”
After ten minutes of emotional blackmail and acrobatics, he bought it for 35 cedis — a price she had always planned to accept.
He walked off whispering, “If a lizard falls from a tall tree and does not die, it must praise itself.”
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Article 5: Evening News & National Hypertension
By evening, Mr. Principle slumped into his chair, swearing never to watch the news again because “it raises my pressure.”
But of course — he watched again the next night like a man reporting for duty.
When the lights flickered after the news, he prayed: “Please God, just this night.”
Two minutes later, the lights came back.
He plugged everything in again and whispered:
“Ah, Ghana… we will change — but slowly. Like kelewele.”
Love This Kind of Satire?
Once Upon a Time in Ghana: Satirical Chronicles from the Republic of Uncommon Sense is Jimmy Aglah’s hilarious collection of stories roasting our national habits with affection and fire.
Welcome once again to the Republic of Uncommon Sense — where we loudly condemn the very things we quietly enjoy.