Political Satire Ghana: The Ribbon-Length Minister
By Jimmy Aglah | Republic of Uncommon Sense
In this edition of Political Satire Ghana, development has finally arrived in our fictional district of Kwatresoh — not in the form of completed roads, functional clinics, or working streetlights, but as a very long ribbon, a brand-new pair of scissors, and one extremely excited Honourable Minister.
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For weeks, the people of Kwatresoh had been told to prepare for a “historic commissioning.”
A road that was still arguing with potholes was quickly sprayed with gravel make-up.
An uncompleted clinic was hurriedly painted on the outside, while the inside — where patients are supposed to meet doctors — remained a spacious museum of empty rooms and borrowed chairs.
But once the loudspeakers were mounted and the canopies went up, nobody cared about minor details like usability.
Development, as we all know, is what happens in front of the cameras.
Political Satire Ghana Meets the Ribbon-Length Minister
By 9:00 a.m., the district had transformed into a movie set.
A convoy of black SUVs snaked through the dust like imported serpents.
Out stepped Honourable Minister, wearing a Kente-inspired suit so bright it could power half the village if connected to the national grid.
Around his neck hung a sash, and in his hand, a shining pair of scissors — the real symbol of power in this republic.
"My good people of Kwatresoh," he began, adjusting his microphone as TV cameras tilted respectfully,
"today we are here to witness unprecedented development."
The crowd murmured politely, partly from excitement, partly from hunger, and partly from the free branded T-shirts that had arrived ahead of the cement.
The Master of Ceremonies, whose job description was “shout development until people believe it,”
unrolled the star of the show: a ribbon so long it had to be carried by four party faithfuls and two confused schoolchildren.
It stretched in front of the half-done road, looped around the unfinished clinic, and ended somewhere near a ditch that was promised to become a community park “in Phase Two.”
Gentle Reminder to the Ribbon-Length Uncles
While some Honourables measure development with ribbons, real men quietly measure their
prostate health. If you or someone you love is over 40, paying attention now is cheaper than ignoring the signs.
How to Measure Development by Ribbon Lengths
In a serious country, progress might be measured in kilometres of completed roads, functional hospital beds,
or the number of communities with clean water.
In our corner of political satire Ghana, progress is measured by the
length of ribbon cut in front of unfinished projects.
As the cameras rolled, Honourable slowly walked along the ribbon, admiring its impressive length.
Behind him, journalists jotted down phrases like “massive development drive” and
“game-changing infrastructure,” while carefully avoiding any shots of the back of the clinic,
where weeds were contesting the land with blocks.
When the time came, the ribbon was lifted into the air as if it were the national budget.
The crowd chanted, the brass band played something that sounded like the national anthem going through a midlife crisis,
and Honourable raised the scissors.
With one dramatic snip, the cameras flashed, the convoy engines purred patiently in the background,
and development, according to the evening news, was now “delivered.”
What the People Actually Wanted
Standing at the back of the crowd, a market woman named Adwoa whispered to her neighbour,
"So after the ribbon, will the clinic get nurses and medicines?"
Her neighbour shrugged.
"My sister, today is for pictures. Medicine is for another budget."
A young teacher, who had used his own money to buy chalk for years, watched the spectacle and did a quiet calculation.
By his estimate, the cost of the ribbon, the branded banners,
the canopies, the fuel for the convoy, and the launch party could have tiled the clinic floor,
fixed the village borehole, and still bought the school a decent blackboard.
But then again, how would the cameras have seen all that?
If this feels familiar, you probably read our earlier dispatch,
Common Sense Missing in Parliament,
where Honourables misplaced logic inside the Chamber.
Today, they have simply moved the performance outside, to the construction site.
For more sharp commentary like this, visit the
Satirical Chronicles archive.
The Official Speech vs. The Official Reality
In his closing remarks, Honourable boasted that the new road would “open Kwatresoh to international investment.”
This was a bold statement, considering that half the road still resembled a documentary on erosion.
He promised that Phase Two would soon bring streetlights, drainage, and a “world-class marketplace.”
No dates were mentioned.
In the fine print of politics, “soon” is a flexible unit of time, like dog years but with more committees.
For the record, the Ministry’s own website later described the project as a
“completed community development initiative.”
If you cross-check with the
official Parliament of Ghana records, you will find glossy descriptions
that sound like a tourism brochure for a town that exists mainly in PowerPoint.
Trimming More Than the Ribbon
Some leaders cut ribbons; some of us are trying to cut stubborn belly fat.
If you’re working on a healthier waistline, this natural support formula may help your
metabolism do more than just clap at commissioning ceremonies.
Development After the Cameras Go Home
By evening, the convoy had vanished, the brass band had gone back to playing at funerals,
and the village returned to its default setting: managing.
The ribbon pieces were gathered as souvenirs, proof that “something big” had happened.
But the road still flooded when it rained, and the clinic still echoed like an empty auditorium.
This is the quiet tragedy behind our jokes.
When development is measured by ribbon lengths instead of real outcomes,
citizens become part of the set design.
They clap on cue, wave on camera, then tiptoe back into the very struggles the speeches claimed had been solved.
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Satire & commentary by Jimmy Aglah for
Republic of Uncommon Sense.
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