A Letter from the Republic of Uncommon Sense
Dear Citizens of Uncommon Sense,
In the Republic, Dominic Ayine’s crusade against corruption has become today’s sermon — yes, the dominic ayine corruption debate again. Once upon a time, Justice overslept. She reached for her wig, only to find it misplaced in a press release. Her gavel was last seen at a press conference, and her docket was trending on X under the hashtag #JusticeSoonCome.
Enter the Attorney-General, Dr. Dominic Ayine, the Republic’s latest crusader against corruption — a man armed not just with law books, but with a microphone and a flair for the dramatic.
At every briefing he strides forward like a priest announcing a new gospel: “Thirteen major corruption probes concluded!” Cameras click, hearts leap, and the Republic applauds as if judgment itself had descended. Yet when the smoke clears, the only thing sentenced is the battery life of journalists’ recorders.
“Dominic Ayine has thrown away the Attorney and replaced it with Media.”
Indeed, in this Republic, announcements have become our new convictions — swift, clean, and free of appeal. The elders warn, “He who drums too early may find the dancers still asleep.” But our Attorney drums before dawn, ensuring the nation wakes up to headlines and falls asleep before any verdict arrives.
Dominic Ayine Corruption & the Selective Thunderstorms
Citizens, have you noticed? Justice now rains like a reluctant cloud. It wets some roofs and skips others. The Attorney-General’s lightning, bright and righteous, often strikes the dried trees of yesterday’s regime while today’s green ones sway unharmed, humming the national anthem. While dominic ayine corruption debates rage online, selective storms continue to choose their favourite streets.
An opposition leader, in one of his rare poetic moods, called it “Animal Farm Justice.” Truly, in this Republic, all thieves are equal — but some are more prosecutable than others. We rejoiced when twelve former officials of the National Service Secretariat were charged over payroll fraud. We remember the boss and his deputy — but the rest have vanished from memory. The Republic’s recall now lasts about as long as a mosquito’s nap.
The proverb reminds us: “When the rain falls, it should wet every roof — not just the old ones.” But here, selective showers have become national climate policy.
Related reads:
More Republic satire ·
Satire archive.
External context:
Transparency International CPI ·
Ghana Judiciary.
The Great Asset-Recovery Circus
Dr. Ayine has introduced a new gospel in the holy war against corruption: “I’ll jail if I can, recover assets if I must.” A fine philosophy — pragmatic, realistic, and perfectly bureaucratic. Yet one wonders: has justice been outsourced to debt-collection agencies?
He calls it asset recovery; the street calls it rebranding theft. In this Republic, thieves no longer flee — they negotiate. They don’t return stolen goods; they sign repayment plans, take photos with ministers, and quote Scripture. Once upon a time, the State chased thieves into the bush. Today, it sends polite reminders and payment options.
The Social-Media Court
The loudest courtroom now sits online. Twitter delivers daily rulings; Facebook conducts cross-examinations beneath fufu bowls; TikTok provides closing arguments in dance form.
“Dominic Ayine, up to now no one is in jail. Aduboahene still walks free!”
“Leave him alone. At least he announces more than the last one!”
And that, dear citizens, is our new measure of success — microphones per ministry, not dominic ayine corruption convictions.
The Prosecutor on Trial
Irony, that mischievous god, never sleeps in the Republic. Just as our Attorney-General was preaching fire and brimstone, whispers arose that his own campaign once enjoyed a mysterious benefactor. Suddenly, the hunter looked suspiciously like bush-meat.
The elders say, “If you chase a thief into the market, hold tight to your own pockets.” In the Republic, every accuser must first frisk himself.
The Republic Reacts
Our citizens, weary but wise, have seen it all. They have clapped through too many crusades, fasted through too many “recoveries,” and watched too many thieves resurrect in new political colours. So now we laugh — for laughter is the last functioning ministry. In bars and barbershops, you’ll hear: “The AG is working hard — on his next press statement!”
Benediction for a Tired Republic
O Justice, patient daughter of Truth, please wake up. In this land, the only thing faster than corruption is the microphone announcing its prosecution.
Let every hand that dips into the nation’s soup remember: even a ladle leaves fingerprints. And may our Attorney-General, learned in law and fluent in publicity, someday prosecute with verdicts instead of volume.
And thus ends the sermon of dominic ayine corruption, echoing through the Republic’s courts of comedy.
For in the Republic of Uncommon Sense, corruption never dies — it merely changes lawyers.
Your faithful scribe,
— Jimmy Aglah
Once Upon a Time in Ghana
Satirical chronicles from the Republic — wit, proverbs, and civic truth-telling. Available in eBook and paperback.
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